Shack's Favorite Quotations

• "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend: and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx

• "Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared." - Jank Handy, Deep Thoughts

• "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying." - Woody Allen

• "To educate a man in mind, and not morals, is to educate a menace to society." - Theodore Roosevelt

• "I am always willing to learn, however I do not always like to be taught." - Winston Churchill

• "The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the ocean searching for a suitable rock or hunk or coral to cling to and make its home for life. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain any more, so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure." - Michael Scriven

• "In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad." - F.W. Mietzsche

• "If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him 'God is Crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, 'Probably because of something you did.'" - Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts

• "If I spit, they will take my spit and frame it as great art." - Pable Picasso

• "It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names of one or two things still safe to eat." - Robert Fuoss

• "...wise and frugal government which shall restrain men from injuring one another [and] shall leave them otherwise free to regulate their own pursuits." - Thomas Jefferson, 1801 Inaugural Address

• "The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 266 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words." - Nation Review

• "What luck for rulers, that men do not think." - Adolph Hitler

• "I know a lot of people without brains who do an awful lot of talking." - The Scarecrow, The Wizard of Oz

• "It is better to keep you mouth shut and appear stupid then to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

• "If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names." - Elbert Hubbard

• "Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

• "Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat" - John Lehman, Secretary of the Navy, 1981 - 1987

• "Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel." - John Quinton

• "There is no free lunch." - Milton Friedman

• "This taught me a lesson, but I'm not quite sure what it is." - John MacEnroe

• "If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

• "It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them." - Alfred Adler

• "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Edmund Burke

• "It is always brave to say what everyone thinks." - Georges Duhamel

• "Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names." - John F. Kennedy

• "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

• "Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch." - Robert Orben

• "Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing." - Albert Schweitzer

• "Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said." - Mark Twain

• "When choosing between evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before." - Mae West

• "Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself." - Unknown

• "Truth fears no questions." - Unknown